Written by j.w.
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Topics: BBC, Rupert Murdoch

Friday, 18 June 2010

image for Murdoch buys the BBC
Rupert the Bear takes over at the BBC

All night sittings in the House of Commons enabled the Government to pass emergency legislation allowing media tycoon Rupert Murdoch to buy the BBC.

The legislation provided for the privatisation of the BBC and thus opened it up for sale to the highest bidder. This has allowed Murdoch to purchase the BBC for an undisclosed sum.

A confident BBC Chair laughed off the episode; 'The Monopolies Commission will never allow this' he said confidentally. However seconds later his face was seen to fall. Murdoch had also bought the privatised Monopolies Commission. A statement is expected from the Commission which is considering an appeal from the former BBC chiefs about the sale of the Corporation to Rupert Murdoch.

The privatised Monopolies Commission is sure to approve the purchase of the BBC by Rupert Murdoch.

Prime Minister David Cameron has leaked a statement to the Sun in which he welcomes the move. Deputy PM Nick Clegg has also given his approval. A joint statement from the two men representing the Coalition view is circulating and we have seen its contents.

It sees the move as a major money saving operation. The licence fee money being paid currently to the BBC is to go instead to the Government during the current financial year and in subsequent years Murdoch and the Government will share the proceeds 50/50.

'Now we will not need to put VAT up to 25%' said Clegg. Cameron smiled as he said to a few select reporters; 'This is the end of the stuffy old fashioned Auntie Corporation. A new era is dawning of sport for everyone.'

Opposition to the move has not been discovered. No statement from the Labour Party has emerged.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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