Written by Dr. Billingsgate
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Topics: Pornography, SEC

Wednesday, 2 June 2010

SEC Chairman Mary Schapiro, stunned by accusations that dozens of her employees, some making more than $200,000 a year, were not sleeping at the job during the financial crisis after all. According to reports, they were wide awake and fully aroused behind their computers while analysing the effect of stimulus measures undertaken by President Obama to turn the economy around.

Ms. Schapiro, a decent woman with impeccable moral virtue, stated that those accused of watching porn for up to eight hours a day while at the job of monitoring financial data were fully capable of multi-tasking; that is "they could chew gum and masturbate at the same time."

"Furthermore," she goes on, "because of the sensitivity of these men to criticism, none of them will be disciplined for this harmless behavior. Infact, I have recommended to President Obama that he continue the stimulation program by providing more pornographic access for these gentlemen, some of whom spent hours trying to bypass content filters set up prudish Bush appointees."

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