Kindles, Amazon's electronic readers, just got some bad news. They're too fat! They're being sent to Fat Camp in the hope that they will meet their "lighter" goals in a few months.
Head Kindle Hedda is furious, pointing out that anti-discrimination laws forbid the forcing of employees to lose weight. "In what other industry," Hedda said, "would an employer be allowed to tell workers that they are too fat? It's an outrage!"
Gail Farrelly, Spoof reporter on the Kindle beat, said that the Kindles she interviewed claimed that they were definitely NOT too fat. And, in fact, they demonstrated that they still fit nicely into the fancy outfits (designer skins, nylon sleeves, and leather covers) that their owners purchased for them.
Although Amazon hasn't made an official announcement, it's rumored that the new slimmer Kindle will make its debut in August. In the meantime, Apple iPads are taking the opportunity to make fun of their rivals. At Target stores across the U.S., where Kindles are sold, iPads are dancing around the Kindle displays singing the MacLean and Richardson tune, "Too Fat Polka." When they get to the lines . . .
I don't want her
You can have her
She's too fat for me
. . . the iPads giggle and point to the poor little Kindles.
The crowds side with the Kindles, though. Nobody likes a bully!