Sweet Home, Alabama - BP today ended the oil spill into the Gulf of Mexico by blowing the well up with a nuclear bomb. The explosion was felt as far north as Tennessee. The cloud from the explosion could be seen all the way from Canada.
The explosion also set off a tsunami wave that is has already hit the Louisiana,Texas, Alabama and Florida coastlines and is expected to swamp the Florida Keys, Cuba, Mexico, Costa Rica, Panama and Venezuela.
BP CEO Tony Hayward said the damage from radio active fall-out would be "minimal". "We don't expect the damage from the bomb to be nearly as bad as the damage from the tsunami and potential damage to the hundreds of other oil rigs in the area. In fact it will probably pale in comparison. But I've just now sold the company to Britney Spears, so I really don't care anymore, not that I really gave a "@#$@#$(really bad word)" before."
It is still not clear where BP got the nuclear technology, but some are pointing to recent communications with Iranian nuclear experts and transfers of money made by BP to Tehran.
Oh and yes the new company name will now change from BP to BS. Britney has promised to change the image and direction of the company. Though she will in fact have to change the direction from a blistering nose dive, the pop diva said, "I've had a lot of experience with nose dives and nose jobs in my career. I expect I can handle it."