Setting a historical precedent, bedding manufacturer Grindem Down awarded its honorary designation of Employee of the Month to a recent hire, a chicken with its head cut off.
"We knew we were taking a bold step when we hired him," said Shill Hindsmooch, executive director of human resources at Grindem. "As a matter of actual fact, we may be the first company in the nation to have employed a headless chicken--in any department."
"He was kind of different," said Art Smith, one of the chicken's coworkers in accounting. "I guess it paid off."
"Just goes to show that around this place, brains are neither needed nor wanted," said another employee who identified herself only as the Avocado's Number.
"Well, hey, you know what they say," responded Payla Sarin, manager of accounts receivables. "Work harder, not smarter."
What, specifically, had the headless chicken done to merit the honor?
"We're not sure what he's accomplished," Hindsmooch admitted. "But he sure runs around fast."
The Employee of the Month could not be reached for comment.