Written by Tragic Rabbit
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Topics: Oil, Oil Spill, bp, Shooting

Saturday, 15 May 2010

image for BP Designates 'Live Fire Zone' Along Gulf Shoreline; Vows to Shoot Whiney Protesters on Sight
One of the understated company courtesy warning signs put up last week along Gulf shoreline.

BP has designated the surrounding Gulf shorelines near their spewing oil disaster as a ''live firing zone'' in a warning to protesters, members of the press and local residents.

Mercenaries and low management unrolled razor wire across roads leading to the area Saturday and pinned notices saying ''Live Firing Zone'' and ''Restricted Area. No Bitching.''

The signs indicate that unsympathetic residents, locales boycotting BP gas stations, sneaking press reps, protesters and other whiners will be shot on sight.

Explosions and street fighting have killed 16 BP PR agents and attorneys in the wake of what may be the world's worst oil disaster and utter destruction of local fishing industry.

"BP remains committed to excellence and customer service," read one company news release just after designation of the "Live Fire Zone".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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