Written by P.M. Wortham
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Topics: Food, bankruptcy, Party

Tuesday, 11 May 2010

image for Buffet Table Manufacturer Files Chapter 11
This is all the weight the table can take before collapsing.

The Gourmet Buffet Table Company filed for bankruptcy this week after mistakenly shipping prop wrestling tables out to home centers across the U.S.

Normally setting up production lines for home table construction, GBT's folding tables had been known for quality and affordability, making them favorites among home centers and hardware stores. Consumers liked them too, pulling them out to use for buffets or extra dining tables at family events. That was until multiple law suits were filed against the company for damages from collapsing tables.

"I had just put the food out, including two rather expensive hams, when the table split in the center, dumping the entire buffet to the ground", says angry claimant, Cindy Pessdoff. Other reports were similar from birthday parties to graduation events, having difficulty supporting the weight of food, or even plates and flatware, tables were easily breaking in half.

GBT President, Randy Savage, told reporters, "Oooh yeah. Like we tried to offer them customers a replacement table at no charge, but they're not having any. We made one little mistake on our production line and BAM! Down for the count."

Former production line worker and unidexter, Mel Spiggot says, "It sounds like they never switched the framing back from the Pro Wrestling configuration to the one for home use… which explains why the tables break so easily. Funny really, wedding cakes and chicken wings crashing to the ground. Sad but funny".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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