Written by Charpa93
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Thursday, 6 May 2010

image for New Motorcycle Company Targets Metrosexuals
Metrosexually Yours

New York, NY - Metro Motors International, an upstart motorcycle company that is a serious up-and-comer in the luxury motorcycle sector, has just announced their latest and most fashion-forward offering to date.

Called the MSX Swiftglide, this specially-designed motorcycle is tapping into a market no other major motorcycle company has dared go into--the metrosexual male market. The newly-released promotional materials claim, "It's just what the feng shui master ordered." Hip, young, upwardly-mobile men who are in touch with their feminine side, but in a manly way, are expected to scoop these motorcycles up in record numbers when they hit the showrooms sometime in June 2010.

We sent a reporter over to MMI of New York City to check out the prototype on display, and he came back literally glossy-eyed. "What a fantastic machine, everything the metro male needs to get to work in style and intact. I was blown away."

Among the features of this custom creation are the following:

- Over-sized side mirrors so you can see yourself, and adjust yourself, while commuting to work.
Mirrors conveniently switch from regular view to magnified view with the touch of a button.

- Extended insect guard for full coverage of your face and upper body while cruising.

- Blow dryer jets that let you dry your hair as you ride to work.

- Smog-reduction fans directing harmful, wrinkle-producing smog away from the face.

- Cologne dispenser that allows you to fill with your favorite scent for those emergency office meetings.

- Surround-sound Bose stereo system with presets for your favorite artists. Control buttons are conveniently located above the steering grips.

- Push-button starting that won't mangle your manny.

- Foot rests specifically designed to make you look your absolute best whether driving or while stopped in traffic.

- Self-locking See-thru Briefcase Basket that matches any color scheme you choose.

- Coupon for $30 off your first vanity license plate.

- Heated seats and shiatsu massage capabilities in optional backrest.

- Attache collection hand grips, pedals and side mirrors in beautiful brushed-chrome.

The designers of the MMI MSX Swiftglide have taken care of every last detail, right down to the color schemes it will be choosing for each season's offerings. The inaugural color scheme will be based on the 'subtle yet sublime' scheme cooked up for the summer months, which include various earth-tone colors such as lichen green, marigold yellow and sunless tan. Of course, the Swiftglide will also be offered in the ever-popular, never-out-of-season, black with shiny chrome for those seeking the "Coco" model.

So guys, grab your man purses and plan on heading down to your local Metro Motors International dealer this summer for a test ride that will leave you absolutely breathless.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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