Written by Gail Farrelly
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Topics: Books, iPad , Kindles

Saturday, 24 April 2010

image for Kindles To Be Sold at Target, iPads Will Be There
Not THAT target. Target STORES, dummy!

An exciting announcement from Amazon: Kindles, Amazon's electronic readers, will be sold in U. S. Target Stores. Kindles are ecstatic that they will be available in brick-and-mortar stores, and they are celebrating with parties, speeches, and public demonstrations. They are confident that this move will boost their overall sales and popularity.

Head Kindle Hedda tells Gail Farrelly, Spoof reporter covering the electronic reader beat, that there's just one fly in the ointment. That's the iPad, Apple's tablet computer that can function as an electronic reader. According to Hedda, "Of course it's a competitor, but frankly we don't think it competes that well. It's heavy and it's not even suitable for reading in sunlight. The summer is coming. Is the iPad good for reading at the beach? Fuhgeddaboudit. The iPad's backlight takes care of that."

But what really annoys Head Kindle Hedda is that there's a rumor that iPads plan to rain on the parade of the Kindles at Target Stores. "You see," Hedda explained, "they can't stand not being the center of attention, so they want to ruin things for us." Apparently iPads intend to walk around the Target stores, handing out free apples (the fruity kind, that is) to customers and letting folks play with their e-reading mechanisms. "They have no respect for themselves and will do anything to make a sale," Hedda complained, adding "their daddy, Steve Jobs, should hang his head in shame."

The Kindles are working on their own secret plans for ensuring that THEY remain in the spotlight at Target. All Hedda would say about that is something we've heard before from the tiny mouth of a Kindle: "As naval fighter Captain John Paul Jones said in 1779: I have not yet begun to fight."

Stay tuned.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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