Smoking is good for you! It's official - The Department of Health has just released findings from a ten-year investigation into the dangers of smoking tobacco and has concluded that all the evidence points to the fact that it makes no difference whether you smoke or not.
Dinah Cancer, spokesperson for B.A.T., spluttered, "It's what we knew <<cough>> all along. The fact is that 100% of non-smokers die, so what difference does it make? It's good for the economy and it's good for your health. I mean, you only ever hear of Tobacco Giants, never Tobacco Dwarves."
The Spoof's own research has uncovered that smoking Tobacco is one of the lead causes of statistics. Furthermore it has restorative properties, for example it is well known that it cures salmon.
Ms. Cancer, a lifelong smoker, added, "Of course smoking isn't bad for you. I mean, there's absolutely nothing wrong with my lung."