Written by C. Cranium
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Topics: New York, Underwear

Thursday, 1 April 2010

image for Underwear City to open in New York City
Pamela Anderson displays what new underwear can do.

United Underlovers announced today that they have funded the expansion of specialty retailer Underwear City who is opening a large underwear boutique in Times Square where the need is the greatest.

Underwear City is a purveyor of underwear for the masses that formerly limited their sales to the Internet.

Shaq O'Neil has been contracted to promote the Well Endowed Men's line of undergarments that includes long johns. The Shaq sponsored line comes with extra room in strategic spots, faux extra room for those who think big, and silly European shorts without easy access.

What underwear seller would be complete without bras? And girl they have lots of the things. Bras, Bras, Bras is the in store line but they also carry every major brand. Every color (and colour) imaginable along with patterns like plaid, paisley, plain, and tie-die. . Pamela Anderson has been contracted to promote the Breast Friendly & Green line of undergarments that includes numerous models: padded, see thru, fleece-for-trips-to-Norway, bigger than life, and look-like-a-porn-star.

Grand opening of the Times Square store is June 1, 2010 and Shaq and Pamela will be there to sign purchases.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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