The President and CEO of Everybody Against England lashed out today at what he called MI5's 'pathetic' attempt to disrupt his business.
"Our 'Everybody Against England' slogan for the 2010 World Cup has struck a chord with football supporters around the world," he pointed out. "Unfortunately we need the services of British Airways to deliver our shirts on a global basis and MI5 have engineered this strike to disrupt our deliveries."
After the consumption of a liberal amount of what smelled suspiciously like a distillation native to the Scottish highlands, he continued his rant:
"The English are a devious bunch of the highest ranking and are highly sensitive about their footballing abilities, or lack thereof. They tried to shut us down by calling us racist, which, in politically correct Britain, is a serious charge. Racism, for your information, is all about erroneous beliefs.
'Everybody Against England' is not racism, it is inspiration leading to true world peace and unity. What else will unite Scotland, Wales and Ireland? How about Canada, Australia, New Zealand and America? Sales of our shirts have been incredible in Afghanistan and Iraq as well.
"Here we are trying to save the world and we get called racist. Now MI5 have infiltrated the Unite union and are trying to destroy our delivery system. No wonder the world is united behind the Everybody Against England.
"Here, gimme another drink."