Written by Dr. Billingsgate
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Topics: Dogs, Fast Food

Monday, 15 March 2010

image for McMuttleys To Open New Franchise In LA Korea-town

Dog lovers are celebrating in the Korea-town district of Los Angeles. With the opening of its flagship franchise, the McMuttley Corporation hopes to recreate the same success that Ray Kroc had when he first introduced McDonalds here in the USA.

Using the same business formula that made McDonalds the world leader in the fast-foods industry, McMuttleys has incorporated the "Golden Leash" as their trademark. With their Big Mutt Burger and side order of Kim Chee, they feel that they can put Fido on the menu at a price that most dog loving Koreans can afford.

While this might offend the sensibilities of narrow minded dog owners who love and care for their pets as if they were children, the average Korean looks at a dog as a walking sandwich. Quite frankly, they would just as soon have the rest of us gag at the thought of eating a Big Mutt Burger, since that means shorter lines and quicker service for them. As far as they are concerned, just because your mutt would do anything to please you, perhaps even save your life, that does not mean that you should bond to them anymore than you would bond to a sheep or a heifer that provided you relief at one time or another.

Illustrative of this peculiar relationship some men have with critters is the use of the infamous "Montana pole." For those not familiar with Big Sky folklore, history has it that these poles were made from broken or discarded pitchforks from which some ingenious sheepherder attached a mirror on the end to see if the sheep were smiling while being humped by the lonely shepherd.

That's why we shouldn't look down our noses at the Koreans just because they feel differently about little Fido. You can imagine how they might feel when they see you braising lamb shanks while hoisting a Montana pole. You might check to see when a McMuttleys is opening up in your hometown.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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