Written by P.M. Wortham
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Friday, 12 March 2010

image for Flintstone Pedal Car Tops All Mileage and Safety Lists
Renewable lumber grown for the Flintstone Car Company

Apparently the fabled cartoon family had it right all along, basing their primary mode of transportation on foot power and renewable materials. With zero emissions, unless you count an occasional anal blast from the driver, the stone wheeled wooden frame is completely propelled by the power of human feet.

US and Asian automakers are angered by the announcement of the Flintstone four passenger vehicle, claiming that it has very little engineering, development or testing history behind it. Spokesman for the new Flintstone Car Company, Ogg, tells reporters that cavemen have been using the same basic technology for years, "If anybody bothered to notice".

Touting an engineering and manufacturing staff of actual cavemen, including a senior management team of former insurance company spokesmen, Ogg tells reporters, "It's a simple but effective design based on renewable lumber resources and wheels made from concrete. Stick your feet to the ground and start running. Its as simple as that". When questioned about braking systems, and references to other more modern car companies and their brake woes, Ogg replied, "Stick your feet to the ground and stop running. Its as simple as that. No mechanical or electrical failures with our car."

Indeed. Sales for the Flintstone Four seat model are brisk, while soccer moms seem to be the most interested buyers. "If the car won't go more than 8 miles an hour, I call that a pretty safe trip and if we get hit from behind, the weight of the wheels alone takes care of my precious cargo. You should see what one of these cars does to a Prius."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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