Written by Wumf
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Topics: Magic, real estate

Friday, 5 March 2010

image for Sinking U.S. housing market causes realtors to turn to magic
Desperate realtors dancing in Illinois street

With the seemingly unstoppable slide in property prices, the nation's realtors have taken to drastic means to restart the boom.

Beginning in the city of Phoenix, one of the harder hit areas, real estate professionals have formulated exotic rituals using large pots in front of their now quiet offices to burn offerings of incense and in some cases, burning photos of former Housing and Urban Development (HUD) secretary, Donna Shalala.

Incantations mixing financial quotes and shrieking while lashing themselves with property brochures has some city officials worried that this behavior might cause general unrest and spread to less impacted cities.

"We just want it to come back," sobbed Jim Goldjacket, referring to times gone by when buyers willingly plunked down initial fees and sometimes even camped overnight to get a chance to buy a condo in the desert like, wind swept wasteland of Southern Arizona.

Experts are likening the realtors actions to those of the "Cargo Cults" of the South Pacific islands where native villagers would enact vivid ceremonies attempting to attract the rich Americans with their WWII supplies back to their islands.

Goldjacket implored,"I've got a 3 bedroom, 2 bath, ranch model that I could easily show you this afternoon. Please, please just give me a chance! Its bank-owned and the algae will be cleaned out of the pool soon, oh pullleeeezzze..."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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