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Sunday, 14 February 2010

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On Valentines Day, may all your ups and downs be between the sheets.

Seismologists all around the world reported increased Richter scale activity on Valentine's Day. This activity was not centered on any one location, but was reported on most of the world's land masses.

"I definitely felt the Earth move last night," said Dawn Jarvis of The American Seismological Institute. "The mattress was bouncing and the springs were squeaking and it rocked my world."

While no significantly large tremors (over 5.0) were detected, there was consistant evidence of motion.

"Sure, we felt the vibrations," said Kiley October of Perth, Australia's National Center for Earth Disturbances. "I'll admit that my husband and I enjoyed the ride, you might say. It was an uplifting experience, and one that I'd like to enjoy again and again."

The largest seismic disturbance was detected in the Lima, Peru home of Oswaldo and Maria Gonzalez Flores. The couple, who are also in the world record books as the heaviest couple on the planet (each weighs over 700 pounds) said through translators that their bedframe broke during the quake, sending them crashing to the floor.

While none of the affected could offer any explanation for the increased seismic activity, it should be noted that chocolates, flowers, and lacey red lingerie were found in each home of those interviewed.

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