Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 5 March 2010

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The 24Seven on Rama IV Road

Police say they are treating as 'very suspicious' the death of a man who froze to death in a 24Seven convenience store in central Bangkok, a source said today.

The man, about 67, was said to have died from the effects of extreme cold temperatures. He had frostbite, chillblains, and megapneumonia. He was also wearing a scarf.

Bangkok is very hot at this time of year, and locals will do almost anything to escape the heat. Only last month, another man was found frozen solid in a well-known foreign supermarket where every little helps. He had broken into the store at night, and had 'snuggled down in the frozen peas'.

The 24Seven chain of stores sells everything from sweets, bread, milk and crisps to shampoo, toothpaste, dog food and hair grips, and is open 11 hours a day, contrary to its confusing name. It employs an overzealous air cooling system, and local people gather in the shops merely to 'stay cool', now with tragic circumstances.

A police spokesman told me:

"Him dead. Twenny-Fouwr-Sewen welly cold, na?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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