Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 8 February 2010

image for Coronation Street Star's Business Venture Folds
Hurry Up With The Tea Love! Corrie's On!

Reports are coming in that a business venture run by Coronation Street star Reece Dinsdale is in difficulty, or has already gone tits up, whichever version you choose to believe. (If any)

The enterprise, based at Lake Twittermere in the English Lake District National Park was founded by the actor along with an undisclosed number of co-investors.

Twittermere Sailing, Swimming and Survival Academy closed its doors this week and a notice was left on the door of reception along with a telephone number. There was no sign of the cook, the housekeeper, or any instructors when we arrived. When we called the number, we were told by a computerised voice simulator that the number we had called was unavailable.

Not to be outdone, we managed to get an eMail through to Reece Dinsdale, who told us:

"When I was offered the part of Joe McIntyre in Corrie, I obviously jumped at the chance, and planned of investing some of my earnings in a business venture. The outdoor activity thing seemed good - running swimming lessons, boating lessons and survival techniques."

But of course, poor Reece had no idea at the time of what the Corrie scriptwriters had in store for the Joe character - addiction to painkillers, debt, loansharks, and Gail Platt (Or is it Hillman?) He should have realised that nothing good could possibly be on the cards once his character started a relationship with disaster-prone Gail. Reece himself explains, again via Email:

"They killed Joe off. In the Lake District if you please! How ironic is that! It was meant to be a faked accidental "death" so that Joe could cash in on the insurance. But he got banged on the head by the bowsprit and drowned. It was disastrous for the real life business. Once the news leaked out about how Joe was to come to a watery end in the Lakes, in a boating accident, the cancellations came flooding in and the bookings dried up. It's amazing how people think Coronation Street is real. But they do."

They certainly do. This reporter remembers seeing Ena Sharples fall down a hole on a Wednesday and being worried sick that she wouldn't be rescued until the following Monday.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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