Written by Gail Farrelly
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Thursday, 4 February 2010

image for Apple iPads Escape from Warehouse, Go on Shopping Spree
Gotcha! Surveillance tapes like this one caught iPads entering the shops.

Last night's reports of roving iPads shocked residents of California, including puzzled Apple executives who had locked the tablets in a warehouse and figured that they'd stay there until shipment to customers later this year. That's what they thought! The bored iPads managed to sneak out and go on a shopping spree.

An enterprising reporter was able to get an interview with the leader of the pack, iPad-in-charge iPatty, who revealed that it was really no big deal. The iPads felt they had nothing new to wear to Apple PR events and in their about-to-be-launched lives in many different homes and businesses.

"Ok, OK, I admit it, there's some stuff out there, a few outfits, but there's just not enough. I mean, who wants to see a pack of iPads dressed all alike. We don't want uniforms; each of us wants to be unique."

iPatty went on to explain that they were looking for stylish coveralls, nifty sleeves or skins, and carrying cases with panache. She pointed out that they were paying cash, they weren't stealing the items, since Apple isn't poor and the iPads felt they were entitled to take a few bucks from the firm's coffers. "After all, we're big contributors to Apple's bottom line."

"Having a daddy like Steve Jobs has pros and cons," she complained. "He's smart, rich, and is an all-round nice guy. But he has no style. No style at all." She sighed and gave a parting shot to end the interview. "Jobs thinks if you have a black turtleneck, jeans and a pair of sneakers, you are good to go." But Patty said that just doesn't work for everybody, especially for those just getting a start in life. "After all," she said, "when you're not brilliant and famous, you have to dress up a bit."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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