Following up their success with charging fees for carryone baggage, airlines will be imposing fees on passengers wearing hats.
"It's a logical development," said a spokesman Art Farly of the Airline Fee Increase institute. "People who will pay $20 or more for the privilege of stowing a bag under their seat will happily pay $5 or $10 for their hat."
Pundits praised this move. "Most people are wearing godawful hats anyway," stated Mitt Romney, a Boardmember of Air Fees International. "Personally, I think they should charge extra for baseball caps that are worn backwards."
After hats, what's next? "I'm not going to give any premature hints," said Farly with a twinkle in his eye, "But there's an awful lot of people who still fly while wearing shoes."