Written by Richard DagNabbit
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Wednesday, 13 January 2010

image for Airlines and Perverted TSA Agents See Gold and Glee in YOUR Baggage...and Pocket Book
Chartering One of These Would Be Less Hassle

Flying by Air for more than a one day trip? If so, then you are like most travelers and have baggage to take with you. Checked or Carry-On, slithery bean counting profiteers along with Steamy TSA Agents behind the airlines counters are saying Cha Ching! and Oh Yeah! with every thing you bring with you including your wallet or those bulky "personals" in your purse!.

You heard it right, now some frisky airlines are instituting a surcharge for any and every piece of anything and everything that you aren't wearing no matter what.

Virgin 'N America Airlines for example charged Cher a $ 25 carry-on fee to fly with a single box of tampons. No one can figure out exactly why Cher had the tampons, but rumor has it she wants TSA inspection agents to think she is just a tad bit younger than she looks when they search her purse. A steep price to pay for a little vanity to be sure.

PMS Airlines now charges an extra $ 50 carry on charge for any purse exceeding 36" wide, leaving The Britney with the extra whack for a bag containing both her blond and her brunette upper and lower wigs. Witney Houston and Bobby Brown were charged a whopping $ 150 extra for carrying on 2 kilos of cocaine, even though Bobby & Wit snorted the entirety of both bags on the spot in an effort to avoid the charges before take off.

Only a member of the Madoff family was noted to escape the surcharges, as Ruth Madoff only had $ 6 Mil in U.S. Currency with her at boarding. Ruth, traveling light, correctly stated to the check in agents that the cash had a present and FMV (Future Market Value) of $ -0- and thus is not subject to the added fees.

Where will the insanity end? Nobody knows, but some analysts are wondering if a passenger will have to disclose the last time they got drummed in the rear just to board a plane. Like most blokes, if that isn't how you get your jollies, you will now feel the pleasure anyway after dealing with Airlines and Airport Security.

From the Brink of Government Insanity,

Dagnabbit Rabbitt Reporting

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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