The Disney company, famous for such characters such as Mickey Mouse and Goofy, has declared ownership of the world this morning.
"We've bought out Marvel, New Horizon Interactive and DNA testing labs, so why not the world?" said a representative this morning. "We've got some big plans."
And just what are those plans? Plans to spend fifty billion on rubber chickens for the staff, abolish religion and instead worship the almighty Mickey Mouse, and turn the White House into a clothing store.
This reporter has uncovered evidence the Walt Disney may have led a secret double life as the infamous gangster Al Capone. At the time of writing, DNA tests are in progress. If this test is proved to be true, Disney's claim of the world will be denied.