Written by jansal
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Topics: Las Vegas, poor, Casino

Thursday, 7 January 2010

image for Casino for paupers due to open in Vegas soon
"Craps" said the homeless man "at last"

The Vegas news states that the newest casino planning to open in the Spring of 2011 is catering only to the poorest of the poor.

Where most elaborate casinos in this high rollers city are trended to the big money players, Casino Exsqualler is designed to cater to the people who have nothing or have lost it all to the bigger casinos.

"The minute you walk in the door you will realize you are in a place that is completely different than any casino you have ever been in before" says Gino Antolloni. Antolloni, the host hired by the owners of Casino Exsaualler takes you on a virtual tour of this new establishment.

The first picture shows the main floor of the casino where the floors are not carpeted but are the cement floors of the construction sub flooring.

The lighting is hung from the ceiling with extension cords and drops down over the main gaming tables. Minimum bets are five cents, maximum 10 cents.

The slots, all penny and a few nickels have their own flashlights attached by chains to prevent getting "lost", making it easy for the player to shine on the window if the player hears lots of noise and thinks they might be hitting a big win.

Buffet is an all you can eat hotdog with all the trimmings for only $2.99. Best deal in town and is open all night.

The hotel will be affordable too. All rooms are decorated the same with no decorations. If you feel the need for privacy you can take the bedspread off the bed and drape it over the curtain rod which is hung at an easy to reach height. You really don't need full window coverage as only the planes landing are within sight of your window.

Bedding is only changed if you request at a small charge of $3.00. Towels and wash cloths available at $1.00 per set. If staying more than 3 days, additional will be provided with no charge.

The hotel is 32 floors high. The top floor, considered the "penthouse" floor has the use of the freight elevator which will be provided for convenience. There is no entrance to the penthouse floors from foor 31 and under. Freight elevator passes available at front desk when showing your room key.

No bellhops provided. It is understood that patrons checking into this establishment will not have luggage anyway.

The penthouse floor has the same furnishings as all other floors and is given out at a first come first serve basis.

All rates in the new Casino Exsqualler are $6.00 per night for couples for twin beds and $3.00 per night for extra person. Only four persons to a room is allowed.

"We want to make your stay in Las Vegas as affordable as possible", said the Owners of this upcoming new Casino/Hotel, "so we have spared all expenses to make this possible".

Various Vegas publications have running ads for early reservations under their classified section.

"Early reservations are non refundable should an unforeseen mishap occur and the casino not be completed as planned". related the Casino/Hotel Management.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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