Athens - (Revelations): Conquest, war, famine, and death are all predicted for 2010 as the Greek government teeters on the verge of bankruptcy.
Prime Monster Papandreou has been recalled from Yuletide retreat after Standard & Poor renamed itself Standard & Skid Row following relegation of Greek government paper to junkbond status.
Meanwhile ingternational rating agency Moody's may soon be calling itself Bummed Out.
Its 2009/2010 futures predictions sent the Greek nation's national debt soaring to 300bn euros ($442bn/£269bn), with public deficit topping 12%.
Most of the country's debt has accrued since 2001 from doshing up its former hoaxer monarchy, headed by ex-King Constantine, into silence.
Vast dollar reserves were pumped into the Greek House of Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg's secret offshore bank accounts in Iceland.
The crash of 2008 soon wiped out the balance leaving little more than a few tatty IOUs from Queen Elizabeth II's so-called spouse, Phil the Greek.
Since then Constantine and his gargoyle wife Anne-Marie of Denmark have been haranguing G20 leaders for a swift reparations handout as the proverbial wolf took up residence outside their Hampstead Garden Suburb front door.
But the IMF is standing firm and has pthreatened to release video footage of the faux Greek ex-King and his missus blowing up a wacking great big bomb on Hampstead Heath back in 1983 if the old fraudster doesn't shut up his horrid gob pronto.
The fatal New Year's Day 1985 shooting of Greek tycoon Aristos Constantinou at No 66 The Bishop's Avenue remains officially a mystery, much like the 'God's Banker' death of June 1982.
Constantinou, 69,was gunned down in his home by a myster assailant who pumped seven silver bullets into his body.
His grieving twenty-something widow Elena married a succession of life guards and pool boys.
And the rest is of course hystery.