Written by Jordan Baugher
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Topics: Cars

Wednesday, 30 December 2009

image for Automakers Continue to Produce Ugly Cars
Ford will reveal their new federally-mandated green car, the 'Autoerote,' next fall.

Detroit, MI - Despite nearly a decade of sagging auto sales and an overwhelming backlash from consumers, nearly every major automaker has continued to produce progressively uglier cars. It's a trend that started decades ago with Fieros and El Caminos and continues through the present with Avalanches and Hummers. Auto Sales Analyst Burt Weener explains:

"Automakers are so caught up with 'futuristic' designs that they've lost sight of what people actually want, which is 'cool-looking' designs that will get them some tail. Trying to get laid in a Prius? Fat chance. And with these next-generation hybrids and electric cars, the planet may live a little longer but auto aesthetics will likely be dealt a painful deathblow."

Average people are suffering as well. When asked how he felt about auto designs, local pederast Joe Blinkers said, "Them damn things just keep gettin' uglier and uglier and queerer and queerer."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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