Written by Gail Farrelly
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Topics: NASA, Atlantis

Saturday, 21 November 2009

image for NASA Shuttle Flies Away with our Business, U.S. Postal Service Complains
Their delivery equipment may be outdated, but they DO get the job done -- eventually.

Why did the space shuttle Atlantis get the contract to deliver goods to the International Space Station? That's what officials at the U.S. Postal Service want to know. "We could have done the job equally as well and perhaps for a better price," one Postal Service official whined. "We're not afraid of intergalactic competition."

"Was there bidding for this delivery-of-goods contract? Not as far as we know," another official commented, adding that a Congressional investigation was in order. "Sure, we have our problems," he admitted, responding to a complaint that a letter had taken 38 years to get from New York to New Jersey. "Heck, it happens, who can be perfect all the time?"

The same official at first gave a terse "No comment," when a reporter suggested that perhaps the U. S. Postal Service was not considered for the delivery to outer space, since its employees have been known to "go postal" and shoot each other. But after a minute he did provide a response: "Hey, in those instances, we always protected the product, no damage to the product at all. Bullet-proof packaging is available at no extra cost." Then he pointed out that what the Greek historian Herodotus said about postal carriers over 2500 years ago applies to the U. S. Postal Service today: "Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night stays these courageous couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds." He told the reporters that this was NOT the case with NASA shuttles. "Unlike us, they CAN be grounded by stuff like snow, rain, heat, and lots of other things."

As a parting shot, the official added, "And unlike us, those Atlantis wimps probably don't even provide return receipts."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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