Written by Gail Farrelly
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Topics: NASA, moon, water

Saturday, 14 November 2009

image for Discovery of Water on the Moon: Consequences for Business
The Moon's Got It!

NASA's announcement that there's water on the moon has created a flurry of activity in the business world:

--Producers of Evian bottled spring water have announced that they will be moving all its operations to the moon. Interviewed in Switzerland and looking to the sky, an Evian executive pointed out, "The waters of Lake Geneva are SO yesterday's news."

--Unilever will be building a U.S. Popsicle plant on the moon and has revealed a new flavor of popsicle: green cheese. "It's ideal. We'll have both ingredients, green cheese AND water in one place," an overjoyed spokesperson announced.

--Poseidon, the god of water, has been commissioned by movie executives to write another adventure story and will be building a second home (as writing headquarters) on the moon.

--Music executives are rushing to the market with new takes on the songs "Moon River" (see, it WAS an accurate title after all) and "Splish, Splash, I Was Taking a Bath."

--Mermaids are moving to the moon in droves in order to take advantage of the previously untapped job opportunities there. Observers insist rumors that Hooters will be opening up a moon branch are all wet.

Meanwhile, NASA has announced that all astronauts will be required to take swimming lessons before blasting off to the moon. Bottled water will not be provided on the mission. Astronauts can quench their thirst upon arrival. On the mission, they will wear life vests and scuba gear and watch reruns of the old Lloyd Bridges show, "Sea Hunt." They will also study literature about all aspects of water. One highlight will be the lines written by e.e. cummings: "For whatever we lose (like a you or a me), It's always our self we find in the sea."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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