Written by Aspartame Boy
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Sunday, 4 October 2009

image for Dough-nut holes to become larger due to Bilderburger stinginess
Sure, I like donuts.

SWITZERLAND Secret Chalet - The Bilderburgers held again a secret meeting; this one only one reporter was able to infiltrate. Follows my account, as the infiltrator-reporter. I cannot reveal my alias within the Bilderburger group.

Financial shocks and troubles continue to cause instability around the globe. The finest minds, stated Kissinger, have modeled the world economy and have at last arrived at a solution so simple, so elegant, that it takes one's breath away.

It is based on the membrane theory, eleven dimensions, and the butterfly effect. A new model based on all these and all the economic data in the world and 40 Billion dollars (soon to be Amero) worth of compute time, has produced a staggering result.

Doubling the size of donut holes will stabilize the world economy, as well as solving these other issues:

1. Americans will each loose 10 pounds.
2. Canadians will each loose 120 pounds.
3. Bakery's will each make 30 percent more pounds.
4. Donuts may now be used for many new purposes previously prevented by the small holes they offered.

spectacles

bracelets

bushings

grommets

washers

steering wheels

toilette seat protectors

Yes, virtually everything. So the resulting economy of scale, when most things are replaced by donuts, will stabilize the economy for more productivity increases.

And we will all be able to buy more donuts. The math is rigorous. We will instruct Obamba to intact it ASAP.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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