Woking - Business across the pond in Woking, and also everywhere else, have reported to be experiencing a surge in confidence amongst consumers thanks to trashy shobiz gossip, much of which focused around Obama and his 'jackass' comment to hip-hop-rap resident cool 'jackass' Kanye West.
"East of West," said one disrespected commentator, "Is a whole fanbase based on the purchase of fans for West's westside gigs whilst west of West is the uncertain feelings for the western president."
When asked what he was going on about, the commentator refused to comment.
Other economists have made the link more clear.
"What Obama is saying," said Taylor Swift (not that Taylor Swift), speaking from her City offices, "Is that we should all just lighten up a bit. It's part of his plan to turn around the economy. He's saying 'Hey! Forget quantitive easing and all that jazz, lets focus on slight moral injustices amongst celebrities. Lets go out and buy trashy mags, lets watch more TV, lets go on the internet and write pointless articles more. Let's loosen up."
It seems to have worked, and thanks to the Presidents timely abuse, everybody's been so busy thinking about rapping, and has forgotten that nobody has any money. Consequently, people are buying more and the economy is picking up.
"The economy is picking up?!" exclaimed one business man, "I didn't realise! I'd better be careful not to lose it all now..."
Jaffa Forbes - You know what I'm talking about.
(you do right?)