Buttcrack, N.J. - Sir Elton John, famed British pop star, has opened a fudge packing plant in New Jersey, hoping to cash in on the fudge craze that sweeps down the Atlantic coast during the hot summer months.
"My wife and I," Sir Elton stated, "...have always loved investigating little fudge shops along the eastern seaboard during our summertime meanderings. From Cape Cod to Atlantic City, we've become enamoured with the presentation skills and enthusiasm of their owners and staff. We always knew that somehow or someway we would one day become a part of the extended family that is the fudge making process."
"It would therefore seem a natural fit for us to buy a fudge packing plant. Between the producer and the consumer is the all important fudge packer. To be sure, we are middlemen, perhaps thought of in a derogatory way, but a very important link in the fudge market process. I think I can safely say and this is a trueism, that the world could always use another fudge packer."
It is believed that Sir Elton and his crew will be concentrating on basic lines of Chocolate fudge. No expressions of interest have yet been made to branch out into more exotic flavors.
Said a media rep from the company, "Elton's company will have their hands full just trying to meet the demand for the brown stuff, I assure you."