The Government has put forward a money saving proposal whereby everyone would be paid in tips rather than receive a standard wage.
Instead of people knowing what they are going to get every week, the government's idea will encourage workers to 'try harder' and 'be nicer' in order to reach their employers goals.
Employers groups have welcomed the strategy with open arms, as they know that they will probably never have to pay a fucking penny to their staff.
Traffic Wardens who don't say "have a nice day" or give out parking tickets will find it hard to earn a living.
Sales staff will need to start being friendly to customers or risk starvation.
Council workers who stand around looking into holes in the road and drinking tea all day will need to up their game or risk certain death.
The government hopes their idea will encourage 'friendliness' and 'politeness' during these tough economic times.