Written by Unconfirmed Source
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Topics: Army, troops

Thursday, 8 July 2004

image for 'Adopt an Army' Program is a Hit!
Target Adopts an Army!

Unconfirmed Sources report that the new 'Adopt an Army' program has landed a major sponsor. Target, owner of hundreds of retail stores will be the core sponsor of the program. Troops seem to love the program that helps them connect with family back home and spread American capitalism abroad.

The program was developed in response to the spiralling cost of the war and sagging troop morale. The US Department of Defense turned to Madison Avenue for help and 'Adopt an Army' was born. The military started a pilot program to prove the concept, but with Target onboard they are now expanding the program to all the service branches.

Marketing insiders are calling the plan brilliant. "Its perfect!" said Dale Ponzi of Ponzi Inc. "It is rare that you get a program that works on so many levels. The exposure that the sponsors will get will be tremendous. People all over the Arab world, the western world and on the ground in Iraq are going to get to know these brands. And the tie-ins with the American military will be terrific. Who wouldn't want there brand linked with the king of brands, the US Military? Its Brilliant."

Bob Wonstadt of Target, the programs lead sponsor, raved about the program. "I tell you what; this thing is going to be big. We are paving the way for Target to get a real foot hold in the region. When we get our new stores up and running in Iraq people are already going to know us and love us. The ability to piggy back on the brand loyalty commanded by the US military is just great."

Wonstadt also explained how the troops like to see logos and products from home. It makes them feel closer to home and family and not like they are stranded halfway around the world on some half cocked military misadventure.

'Adopt an Army' directors expect the program to be fully implemented on the ground in the next several weeks. American marketing tie-ins and promotions will begin very soon after.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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