Written by Jalapenoman
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Sunday, 28 June 2009

image for Product Pitchman Billy Mays Joins List of Dying Celebrities
Billy Mays' cleansing products are sold all over the world

Billy Mays, the 50 year old pitchman for such products as OrangeGlo and Oxyclean, was found dead in his Florida home this morning. Mays is the fifth celebrity to die in the past two weeks, joining David Carradine, Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, and Michael Jackson.

No details on the death are known at this time pending preliminary autopsy findings.

Marlon Jackson, speaking on behalf of the Jackson family, said "we're sorry he's dead an' shit, but we hopes this ain't gonna take away none of the TV coverage for our brother cuz that's sellin' us more records and makin' us more royalties an' shit."

Investigators in Florida are attempting to confirm rumours that May's products were used to bleach the skin of Michael Jackson, but this has not been verified at this time.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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