Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: Michael Jackson

Sunday, 28 June 2009

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There were extraordinary scenes in a West Midlands supermarket this morning, when Michael Jackson, the now-deceased King of Pop who died after a suspected heart attack in Los Angeles last Thursday, was spotted doing his shopping in Tesco.

In just one of thousands of reported worldwide sightings of the star, a perfectly-coiffured Jackson, 50, strolled casually around the Burnt Tree Island store in Dudley, selecting his purchases carefully from the unbeatable selection of thousands of competitively-priced products on offer, and ticking off items on a 'grocery list' as other shoppers stood and stared, refusing to believe what their eyes were telling them.

Dressed in his famous red leather jacket, testicle-strangling black PVC pants, white socks, patent leather black dancing shoes, white gloves and wraparound shades, Jackson bought bread, milk, potatoes, a cauliflower, carrots, strawberry jam and a can of Rice Pudding before making his way to the checkout, and producing his Clubcard for the assistant to add on his points, even giving her a smile as she stared rather too long at him.

According to store manager, Richard Skull, Jackson is a frequent visitor to Tesco, often coming in on Thursday evenings with his mum. Skull said:

"We often get a few 'Michael Jacksons' in here, as well as the odd Elvis. Oh, look! There's another one over there in Breakfast Cereals!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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