The rumour that Sir Alan Sugar is to be made a Lord has been rejected by the Government.
The Prime Minister, taking time out from worrying about the state of Britain's got Talent runner-up Susan Boyle's health, has said that he intends to take it one step further than making Sir Alan a Lord.
Mr Brown will be off to see H M the Queen later today with the suggestion that Sir Alan should be made a Viscount, a Baron or even at a push, a Prince, with immediate effect. It's only the fact that King Sugar sounds like a brand of sweetener that the Prime Minister rejected the idea of him becoming a king. Plus the fact it might annoy Her Majesty's husband who has only ever been a Prince.
Together with the recommendation for Sir Alan, there is further rumour that Bob the Builder will be joining the government as Building Tzar, Postman Pat as Postal Tzar and Captain Pugwash as Naval Tzar.