Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 11 May 2009

image for Recession Dries Up Bottled Water Industry
A glass of basic tap water, which extensive studies have determined is just as wet as bottled water.

DALLAS - The Interfederated Bottled Water Manufacturer's of America are beginning to suffer from dry mouth due to the fact that bottled water sales have dropped 98.7 percent in the last ten months.

Due to the continued depressed state of the nation's economy many people who have become unemployed are no longer able to afford purchasing such items as caviar, sushi, Movies on Demand, tofu, Cuban cigars, shrimp cocktails, Celine Dion CD's, and bottled water.

Even many American's who are still working are finding that they have to resort to cutting corners and one way is by no longer buying bottled water and reverting back to drinking tap water.

Dr. Deon Corvette of the Upper Arizona Institute of Drinking Water Practices was asked if drinking tap water is as safe as drinking bottle water.

He added that although regular kitchen faucet drinking water may not be as pure as bottled water, it does contain basically the same garden variety wet ingredients as bottled water does.

Dr. Corvette stated that research studies recently conducted in Indonesia reported that nine out of ten Indonesian doctors felt that the only difference between bottled water and tap water was that one comes in a bottle.

He remarked that in almost every water study that he has been a part of, he has noted that it is virtually impossible to ascertain if one water is wetter than another water.

He disclosed that their studies further found that in almost 99 percent of the cases the people in groups who drank only tap water had their thirst quenched just as good as the people who drank only bottled water.

Ajmer Jammura an attorney for the Indonesian Water in Bottles Industry refuted this research study finding. He said that he is drawing up the papers to sue individuals who have switched from drinking bottled water to drinking tap water.

Jammura added that the cost of bottled water is not really that much more than the cost of tap water, especially when you add in the cost of the water faucet, the hot and cold spouts, kitchen sink, and having to wash the drinking glasses.

In other news. Universal Pictures has just announced that they have signed ex-Playboy playmate and Celebrity Apprentice contestant Brande Roderick to star in the film, Left Coast Lactoids - The Carrie Prejean Story

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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