Written by Stu B
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Topics: Marriage, Family

Wednesday, 30 June 2004

image for Ayava CEO announces he loves a Zebra
Untembe relaxes on Pattersons Estate

Dan Patterson, Chairman and CEO of Ayava Inc, manufacturer of Dyalasis machines and services to the Saudi royal family amongst others, announced today his impending marriage to Untembe a wild Zebra from Kenya.

He and his fellow senior executives will fly to Uganda in October wher they will follow the tribal rituals described to Patterson by his new VP For Spiritual Enlightenment Condoleeza Rice.

However, Kenyan authorities are said to be concerned regarding the legaility of a cross species marriage and are seeking advice from Interpol.

The last person to attempt it, a Daytime TV presenter who flew to Iran to marry a frog was arrested at heathrow and charged under the cruelty to amphibians act. See Story Richard Madely

Patterson. whose wealth knows no bounds, is adamant that the marriage will go ahead. Speaking from his south pacific island he laughed manicly when question over a video link, and then played Culture Club album tracks until the reporter hung up.

Mickey Trukh, VP for Sales worldwide at Ayava Inc had this to say "Dan has done great things for this company and if he wants to have a meaningful relationship with a ungulate, then who are we to stop him, there isn't enough love in the world man, not enough love"

He added that he was asking his Patterson if his bride had any sisters "Hay, dont knock it 'til youve tried it" he added as he handed out poloroids of the bride to be in a bikini.

Patterson previous marriage was annuled in October last year when it emerged that Xena, Princess Warrior was in fact a fictional character.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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