Written by Steddyeddy
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Topics: cosmetics

Sunday, 29 March 2009

image for "You're worth sh*t" according to beauty product manufacturer
Special wrinkle cream from L'Unreal at £30 a 5ml pot

Beauty product manufacturer, L'Unreal, has decided to 'come clean' over their recent range of advertisements which had been designed specifically to part women from copious amounts of money. Nothing new there, eh?

However, up to now famed for celebrities claiming "You're worth it!", they will now feature ordinary men and women from the street claiming "You're worth sh*t"

A spokesman from the company, Charles E Manson said that the company has had it good for a long time. He admitted that the containers most of the products they sold were packaged in were generally more expensive than the crap contained inside.

"Yes, we dress the products up to include fancy chemicals which the average woman thinks is really fab, even though they haven't a clue what they mean - things like lipofrankinosides, ascerbitolic acid, sumpoilderibulatus and fructoaminocowdung - all made up by our PR people to sound good, but in reality just Latin names for common or bathroom stuff such as water, soap, wood-shavings and nitric acid."

It seems that consumer magazine What? undertook some tests on some of the more expensive make-up and wrinkle creams - those advertised by Hollywood A-Celebrities - and found that cheap alternatives such as used chip-pan oil and supermarket own-brand sour cream were actually more effective, yet only cost a mere fraction of the price.

DFS still have a sale on, now into its 52nd week.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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