LONDON, England - Last week, Brown had called me to his office to release to me an exclusive story about the Pound. Brown had felt that the Pound was in danger of being devalued by the emerging acmetal (ACME) world fiat currency, backed only by the IMF and the U.N., two powerless bodies, now that the U.S. is bankrupt and can no longer act as the U.N. police force.
The crux of what he had told me is that there would be a contest to reestablish the Pound as being defined as a pound of something. It can't be silver, that is way to expensive. Gold, that is out of the question.
Brown wants it to be something that we have a lot of in England, something not so plentiful in other countries. Opium is off the list. We tried that; remember the Opium Wars? Not so nice.
Millions of ideas were emailed to Mr. Brown. Hundreds of phone calls came in.
Mr. Brown again called me to his office for this exclusive update that follows.
We have a winner.
In some countries, dried manure is very valuable, as it is the only source of fuel. The devaluation of the dollar, and other world fiat currencies, such as the Amero (laughed out of town before it took hold), the acmetal (the current Bilderburg Group favorite), and the Peso, all are backed only by paper - and paper tigers - has prompted this bold movement.
From April 2 on, the UK pound will be redeemable in a pound of wet manure. Dry manure was considered, but thought to be too valuable. The wet manure weighs more, per BM. It still needs to be dried to be used for fuel.
However, even the wet manure still has it's uses, such as on certain reality shows where they eat strange things in the United States.
There will be certain standards that have to be met. It must be human manure, and it's water content may not be more than 50% by weight.
On the news, sales of high fiber foods and laxatives doubled throughout the UK. Worries about toxic assets have reportedly reignited, however, on the news.