In Scotland's capital city of Edinburgh, hundreds of people looking for someone to blame for that bank's financial problems streamed towards Sir Fried Goodwin's house, after the BBC showed the exact street and house number of that house on its television news. And soon windows were breaking as fast as an RBT executive breaks his staff's hearts, by making them redundant and paying himself millions of pounds as a bonus.
Lothian and Borders chief constable Sir Mason McPlod said: 'Usually we ignore people smashing windows and damaging cars for days, as long as its away from the posh areas, but Sir Fried's house is in our 'stuck-up git' zone, so got instant priority.
It also made us look like we were actually doing something in Edinburgh, which will make all Edinburgh citizens laugh, if you even see an overweight copper nowadays it's only in a chip shop or Chinese takeaway, when they're buying their tea.'
And a Royal Bank executive, Mr Bonus Pholonus, added: 'Tut, tut, tut, tsk, tsk, tsk, tut, tut, tut. This vandalism is - fifties will do - a disgraceful criminal - OK, hundreds then, but only used ones - act, one that must be - no, it's got to be readies, how can I cash a cheque for millions in my own bank, eejit - investigated by the police, unlike the actions of RBT bosses like me. See ya in Nassau, suckers!'
Toytown will sleep safely tonight, knowing its money is safe with the Royal Bank, and its streets are regularly patrolled by Mr McPlod and his colleagues.