Written by dannline
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Topics: Aliens, Banks

Monday, 23 March 2009

image for Bank launches alien attack savings account
Invest to stop these monster and pay no tax on gains

A bank has launched a new savings account investing in the security of planet Earth.

The Aliens Attack Super Saver ISA offers fixed returns of 42 per cent over the next ten years and invests in technologies that will defend the planet.

Earnest Deeppan, the bank's new friends acquisition director, said: "This account offers a win-win for customers. A strong long-term guaranteed returns and a chance to defeat aliens.

"Money will go to engineering projects and scientists directly researching and building anti-alien ray guns."

However analysts have questioned the strength of the ISA.

"Rates are low now, but they will bounce back in the coming years." said Michelle Ladypops, demoneyfactso savings soup taster, said.

"42 per cent over ten years ain't much better than our best buys.

"Furthermore, if aliens do attack and win and turn the human race into their slaves, they are unlikely to maintain the current primary and secondary investment markets. Financial compensation schemes are unlikely to hold up if the governments of the world collapse."

She added: "Also if the bug-eyed monsters from Mars do manage to take time to go through banking records, those investing in their destruction will not be on their Christmas are list."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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