The worldwide hit children's TV show, Sesame Street is suffering at the hands of the economic downturn.
The Street, as it's known in entertainment circles, has been a long running educational show using puppets created by the Jim Henson Muppet factory with classic characters such as Big Bird, Bert and Ernie and the Count. Sesame Street is a registered charity, and some bad investments with the charitable donations in Icelandic banks have left the company with a massive shortfall.
The initial cuts are to be on back-room staff, but nobody is safe.
"I fear for my life," said Big Bird. "I mean look at me! I'd feed a family of four for a year!"
The Count was stood by the door during the press announcement and could be heard as the initial redundancies were escorted from the building.
"One redundancy, two redundancies, three redundancies, ha ha ha!"
Kermit the Frog gave the press conference, stood behind a large lectern that presumably hid Steve Whitmire. His words were grave, but nobody could take him seriously in his reporter's hat and silly voice.
"It's with deep regret that were are going to have to lose seventy of our friends," Kermit said. "Half year losses have led us to this terrible position."
The only Muppets that will be axed are Fozzie Bear, who hasn't worked for years anyway, and the Snuffleupagus, who requires a team of thirty to work him. The Snuffleupagus was quite depressed at the news. Fortunately, Elmo was there to tickle him back into happiness.