Written by NODDY
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Saturday, 21 February 2009

image for Britons in £2 trillion National Debt horror scare
A banker takes home his day's pay to invest it safely in his mattress.

The United Kingdom is about £2 trillion in debt - which equates to £33,000 for every man, woman and child in the country.

Removing the 40% of the population who don't/can't work, are children or retired means every working person owes about £47,600. If you then remove from the equation the 60% of that figure who are ordinary working people struggling to make ends meet, the remaining 16.8 million people each owe £119,000.

By a strange coincidence, the figure of £2 trillion is also the amount that has been given in City bonuses in the last 10 years.

We asked a few taxpayers yesterday how they plan to pay off the National Debt. Alf Figgis, a successful cabinet maker and joiner, said he would probably take 20 years to pay that amount, and as he was retiring in 8 years, he wouldn't even try.

Marcus DeLawney, a City whizz-kid who gets a large bonus most years, said he could pay his off in one lump if necessary, "easily", if he didn't buy a new Porsche and cut back on nasal exotics.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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