The Chancellor Alistair Darling and other G7 leaders have announced new measures to deal with the credit crunch/economic downturn/global slump/depression/armageddon (delete as necessary);
Following the "successful" bail-out of the Banking sector (giving £billions of public money to unworthy institutions who then refuse to lend it out) and the "successful" bail-out of the Motor car trade (giving £billions of public money to car firms to make cars nobody can afford), the Chancellor has decided to use public money to;
A) Give tax breaks to developers of villas on Spain's Costa del Sol.
B) Make yacht prices cheaper by dropping VAT to 2% on boats between £150,000 and £200,000.
C) A boost for the swimwear, sunglass and sandal industries.
D) The Spanish ice-cream industry to be loaned £40million of British taxpayer's cash.
Alistair Darling is laughing off suggestions that he is going to make a run for it.