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Topics: Australia, Railway

Friday, 30 January 2009

A crazy railroad engineer, Alex Remins, is found hunting down throughout Australia's Epping Railway line.

Recently, Police of Victoria have been receiving countless number of reports mentioning about an "aggressive train monster". He was found taking drugs whilst driving/handling the train, wearing hip-hop clothing, and most importantly, being noticeable for his fast acceleration speeds on the tracks.

A fellow witness of his attempted train murder, Mike Summers, filled us on some details about it. "I needed to go to Flinders Street for my usual morning of work. I started at Thomastown Station and on the whole trip he was accelerating at speeds of up to 175km/h. He skipped every single station and at Flinders Street he was stopped by a pedestrian who risked his life to keep his hand out. His hand, though, got ripped apart, but the important thing is that...I got out alive while about 10 were killed."

That day he took another train and succeeded.

The Victorian Minister for Police, Bob Cameron, said "Alex is virtually risking his own life. Therefore, announcements of residents trying to stop him will not do the trick. However, we can hire extra security for all the stations from Epping up to Flinders Street looking out for all trains that pass by these stations but in the City Loop, they will be active when the Epping Line train is in present. When security sees the man in sight or in present, they will do what they plan on doing when they see him."

Minister for Public Transport, Lynne Kosky, understands the problem the Epping Railway Line is coming upon but disagrees to stop him for the fact that these security guards could be in risk of getting severly injured and in the risk of dying along with it.

If the solution, however, is not present by February 2, the case will be closed and will never be present. Although, Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd, is making a claim that if the solution isn't approved, it might be available in future but Lynne said "If this is not approved, that means it is not approved in future years and we are making a short deadline because for the fact, I really disagree with this case."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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