Written by Nogger
Print this
Topics: Economy, Banks, mortgage

Monday, 19 January 2009

image for Bank Launches New "Buy Forget" Mortgage
A deal sweetner awaits you on signing the forms

Buoyed by news that the Newcastle Stone bank is to be relaunched as a "Good Bank" as part of the government's efforts to stimulate lending, the lender today announced it's latest innovative product.

"You've all heard of the so-called Buy-to-Let mortgages that got lenders into so much trouble. Well this new package we are calling Buy Forget," said new Newcastle Stone CEO Sir Kevin Keegan.

"Basically, what this mortgage will do is allow you to borrow up to 500% of the value of a property, with no proof of income whatsoever, then simply forget that you ever borrowed the money and walk away," explained Keegan.

"The government want to stimulate lending and me and the lads had a bit of a chat and came up with this. It's already proving very popular as we've lent £500 billion so far this morning and it's only half-past ten," Keegan added.

Make Nogger's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 2 multiplied by 5?

8 11 6 10
41 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience on our website, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more