Written by Monkey Woods

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Topics: Economy, clothing

Tuesday, 13 January 2009

image for Clothes to be Made Even Cheaper

Shoppers received the news they had been waiting for tonight, when High Street fashion giant, Primark, announced that from next month, prices in its stores will be a damned sight cheaper than ever before.

The reason for the new, lower prices, is that Primark, following allegations made by the BBC, have been so successful in avoiding prosecution for entering into contracts with suppliers that have flagrantly ignored and disregarded employment laws, and employed illegal workers and children.

According to the BBC, one company has taken on extra Afghan refugees recently, to satisfy the public's insatiable demand for cheap knitwear that falls to bits after the first wash.

A commentator said:

"There's nothing wrong with employing foreign workers or kids. They're much better than your average British worker. They labour away all hours God sends, for tuppence ha'penny, they never go for a bog break, and they never complain. They're a pleasure to work with!"

Commenting on price reductions, it was added:

"What with Intensive Immigration Initiative (III), garments will be made as cheap as is humanly possible, but it's important to remember that clothing from any retail outlet in the world can fall to bits at any time, so don't be surprised if you buy something that does."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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