Written by IainB
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Friday, 9 January 2009

image for New trick to kick start the economy
Dalring now owns a limited edition lapel pin.

After getting a Wii for Christmas, Chancellor of the Exchequer, Alistair Darling as hit upon a winning method for Kick Starting the economy.

Previous attempts of printing more money and lowering interest rates to zero has not worked, but Darling noticed that when he registered his Wii, he got Nintendo Star Points that he could trade for goods on the Nintendo site. However, he did not have enough, and bought a Nintendo DS just to get enough points to get the Mario Kart pendulum clock, and the idea came to him.

Starting from the beginning of February, shoppers can collect Economy Points. For every pound spent, the points accrue, and can be exchanged for goods on the Economy Points web site (www.economypoints.gov.uk).

Items in the catalogue start at just five hundred points for exclusive Government Mobile Phone wallpaper featuring favourite government ministers (of all parties). By purchasing just a little more, ring tones can be exchanged. By going out and collecting five thousand points, an exclusive Gordon Brown duvet and pillowcase set can be yours, so anybody can sleep next to the prime minister.

"I've already got enough economy points for a limited edition Jaquie Smith collector's plate," said Darling in the press launch.

David Cameron is said to be furious at the new initiative, as he wished that he'd come up with.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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