Written by jeremy griffiths
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Topics: Economy, business, 2009

Thursday, 1 January 2009

image for 1st. Quarter of 2009 extended by 2 weeks
World Economic Growth to resume!

Following the sucessful extension of 2009 by 1 second to bring clocks into line with the earth's rotation, G.20 the world's top 20 economic powers have decided to extend the 1st quarter of 2009 to April 14th.

Economists realised that the 1 second extension had increased GDP by 0.000.162%, and calculated that a 2 week extension would increase GDP by 15%, allowing for an expected 10% slump because of the depression, it would leave a healthy growth of around 5%.

"Problem solved" jubilant US Treasury spokesman, Lala Land, said on CNN's main bulletin tonight, "We are just borrowing the extra days", Land continued, "When the economy improves we will simply pay back the borrowed days by shortening future financial quarters". "It is nothing more than a smoothing exercise" added Bernie 'Fingers' Madoff, ex hedge and small shrub wizard, newly recruited to the dept, "Think of it as 'seasonally adjusted' with a twist!".

Challenged by Swedish economist Notbjorn Yesterday, that they "Were not comparing apples with apples", 'Fingers' retorted: "There will always be these non-believing fruit loops, frankly they give me the pip!".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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