Sansfangs and Gums, famed British apothecary has begun running advertisements for its new improved fake toothpaste for false teeth. The product named Gleemgate to highlight its true fakeness promises to do absolutely nothing for your phony fangs. Rub it on, brush it around, or apply it with a dental drill, the ad announces, our elixir will have no effect.
When asked why anyone would want to use their product, Glenn Gary Glennlost explained:
" What if you're a toothless old farter and you go out to the pub for a pint or ten to drown your lonely sorrows and you end up going home with Maisie or Peg or some new bar fly. She nips into your lavatory and there on your sink is a perfectly fine looking tooth polish. Well, if your dental cement holds up through lots of spit swapping and gum sucking your lady love will have no idea about your oral disbility."
When I replied:" That's stupid shit!"
Glennlost retorted:" Exactly!"